staticgir04 (staticgir04) wrote,

i dont wanna grow up....

the webster definition of responsible is being "able to answer for one's conduct and obligations." i try my hardest to do just that, but it never seems to work out the way i want it to. and i think that im a horrible person for that. im a bum, whose only source of income now is his parents. i go to school, but thats only because i had to. im now a fucking freshman in college,again, because i fucked up the first time. i wanted to persue a music career when i knew that thats not something that i should do at this time. i lied to my dad about that one, but im pretty sure ill have to come clean real soon. i guess what im trying to say is, im in a real fucked up place, and being faced with the thought of more responsibility is getting to be...scary. im not the strong person i make myself to be. im not. im just this really scared guy who is just frightened of having to be an adult. and i know i shouldnt but i am. all i wanna do right now is just curl up and cry but pride is keeping me fromdoing that. thats another thing thats got to change. i cant be too proud
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